Be Still

I've been kind of mopey as of late. OK. As of . . . a few months? Years?

I think I've just been getting antsy, feeling like I'm not getting any younger, and yet, what have I made of my life.

I try to console myself saying that I have an amazing family - a beautiful wife, and a beautiful daughter. A family that many might even envy. And for that I am proud. Yet, I look at my career life and accomplishments, and can't help but feel a sense of, well, lack of accomplishment.

Tonight, I had an amazing opportunity to process this with Linda once again. And as we were talking, I got this picture in my mind of God as this master artist - think DaVinci or Michelangelo but greater. And I'm sitting for him as he paints a masterpiece portrait of me. Thing is, I can't sit still. As he's painting, I keep moving around, trying to peek around the canvas and see what he's doing. He, being the master that he is of course, continues to paint. But I just sense him telling me, "Would you please just sit still. It would make things a whole lot easier, and things would go much quicker. You will see the masterpiece in time. Just relax. Trust me."

So here I am again. Back to sitting and waiting. It is a recurring theme in my life. And I think that until I learn the lesson, it's going to keep coming back. Waiting and being still is such a hard thing.

I can't help but feel like I should be doing something, that I need to help with the painting in some way. But really, there's nothing I can do. Reminds me of something that someone said to me once, "There is no shame in waiting on the Lord."

So, Lord. I wait. I wait. I wait. I look forward to seeing the completed masterpiece. But until then, I will sit and wait.